recently, times havnt been good somehow.. did receive his emails and calls.. bt i simply nev respond cos was busy and tired when i come home... havnt been sleeping well... keke.. e other day i went to his hm and wrote alot of things.. during tis period wat i really wan??? i wonder do i like him or being wit him to let go e past??? simple confuse and blur... i need time to re-consider again..

lately being meeting up wit mich, sally, mike and jeremy... it seems we been meeting for dinner and chill out... keke.. and best part is yest we went ZOUK... it was quite fun and happening... havnt been there since ir re-opened.. haha surprising we i saw ivan, guo hao and wai leong... all my long time frens.. did enjoy myself bt had to left early as i have to work early in e morn tdy.. sian rite... haha.. ciazo.. time to sleep liao... up-date ant day...

It has been a long time since i blog... hmmm ever since attachment started i had been busy wit it and meeting up wit frens.. well beinnging didnt really like there bt after sometime ok lor... quite disappointed.. wonder did i make e rite choice...wat to do jus have to bear wit it till nov.. haiz..

on the other hand.. a frenship which i treasure had came to an end... everything ended jus like a dream.. she stil gt e cheek to say we betrayed her when she did it 1st to us.. she had used us and tis is call frens.. haha.. i shall see hw long such ppl can live onz... will she chose to be e one she love??? or will she stay wit her $$ box... i believe she wont get watever she want in e end.. since she loves to lie to e.one and started all e stupid lying.. f disappointed wit her..

one after ant.. 1st is her.. 2nd is him... e person who i work so hard for.. bt behind mi.. say nasty things.. i always believe.. such ppl will have their own bao ying... haha..

yest after work. went to find my da lao po... its been a long time i last saw her... stay @ her place chatting wit her and playing wit her 2 kids.. raven is so big already and very notti.. bt he's dame cute.. haiz... 4get to take pics.. den chat wit kor over msn also.. his son also very big and super notti sia. haha.. den chatted til 6plus den we went for dinner and shop @ tiong bahru plaza.. met up wit her two sis and ting li.. her sis child.. after dinner company them to shop and they bought clothes.. den after tat i went off..

i went walk walk alone... couldnt find anyone to company.. all my frens seems to be very busy.. either wit works, familys, or bf/gf... haiz.. so im left alone lor.. dono y jus felt so lonely for a moment.. as like when im down.. i couldnt find anyone to confront.. bt i am always there for my frens.. mayb its my fate bah...

i walk to fishing pond and sat there seeing ppl catching fish... and tht alot of things.. yest i ended e r.s wit boy.. although he don wan to let go.. bt i insisted.. i really do like him alot and willing to walk wit him down e road.. bt things always do happen.. i am really super tired of tis life liao... cant i jus have a proper r.s.. y must there always be a 3rd party come in bet... is my fate remainng singel will be beta??? tis time rd, i give up e,ting i built... i don wan him to suffer wit mi.. i rather suffer alone and be hurt alone.. although he die die don wan let go.. i jus ignore him...

To: you, ( words tat kept deep in my heart)
i'm really sorry.. i love u too much bt i need to let go as i don wish to hurt u and be hurt further.. i rahter end nw and bear all e pain rather than cont to suffer and left alone. i will still keep my promise to u.. bt u must be strong and make ur own decision.. don belive ppl easily or else u be cheat... as i no longer by ur side.. u must take care of ur health, rem to take ur meals.. sleep well.. and take ur med on time.. u must depend on urself and work towards ur goals.. thanks for e.ting u done for mi.. e times and moments u spend wit mi... u are e 3rd best guy i ever known.. bt too bad i cant be e one to walk down e road wit u anymore.. tats someone beta and u will slowly let go mi and accept a new one.. muakcs love u...

Tis few days alot of misunderstanding and argument wit boy... was nt really happy abt it and wanting to give up... i felt very tired to drag on and wasting his time... tat day we had a gd tok and said e.ting out... i wanted to hold back my tears bt it keep rolling down my cheek.. mayb becos i really like him and felt e pain in e way he treat mi... it seems e.ting little thing i did, he don even rem or put it into his heart.. he felt is common and like tat lor.. bt of cos to mi e.ting little things counts... so we say out wat we really wan and hw to improve tis r.s... e only sentence made mi re-consider is:

"if i'm nt serious in tis r.s, do u tink i will propose to u and tell my parents..? i did tis cos i finally found someone who can control mi and let me be happy.. bt it seems tat i let u down and hurt u soo deep and nev able to be there to protect u. my actions might nt really show u wat i mean bt i also treasure e times and things u did for mi.. i really hope for ant chance.. pls"

after hearing tis wat he say... i gave him ant chance and cont to improve in our r.s

yest was my one and only papers i had.. well did study for it bt it seems tat i done it wrong.. haiz... bt hopefully can pass lah... tis sem really lost mood to study as too many things had happened and was too stress.. met up wit my poly mates for dinner at clarke quay and den went over to rage for drinks.. was quite fun and happening.. as tis gp always full of craps and lame jokes.. haha.. (tat is lot of pics.. bt lian havnt send mi.. haiz) i going to miss them as we are going seperate for 3mths for attachment.. bt if working same area stil can meet up for lunch or dinner.. its so fast.. tat i left last sem to finsih my course.. i miss them alot.. keke..

yest after work met up wit joyce and sally.. company joyce to shop for her LV bag again.. den went to nydc for chat.. den meet sally liao den we proceed to rage lor.. went next door for dinner den back to pub.. sit there drink and sing lor.. til later part.. ah seng, kelvin they all came lor.. den play games and drink lor.. den joyce went back 1st.. den ah seng sent mi home..was dame tired sia...

tdy, woke up @ 3pm lor.. cannot believe it sia.. nobody call mi to wake up as i was so sick cum super tired.. haha.. den slack after lunch den sleep back.. haha den woke up eat again and watch tv.. den went to boy home and up load pics and blog lor.. while he is doing his stupid stuffs.. haiz.. stil considering want to cont anot... shall see how bah.. sian.. mon exam i stil havnt study.. no mood sia.. haha.. ciaoz..

Went holiday for 3days 2nights to genting.. was a wonderful and enjoyable trip for mi.. @ last i can put e.ting aside and enjoy myself.. is been a long time i am so relax..

day1, reach there ard 230pm den check in to 1st world hotel.. which is CMI lah.. haha.. den after spend e whole afternoon til dinner time shopping @ 1st world hotel and genting hotel.. den went lake view resturant to have dinner and den went casino and look look.. den went back room and slept..

day2, woke up early to check out and wen for lunch and den check in at genting hotel.. e room was dame big and of cos more like a hotel room .. haha.. den change and went start going to theme park and play.. most of e rides we play bt e Q was dame long lah.. e last one was e water splash.. we were lucky to sit e ride as it was raining when we manage to get onto e boat.. den went back room to bath and change.. den went to good friends resturant for dinner.. e food was much beta den lake view.. after tat took a stroll outside enjoy e cold brezze.. den went back to 1st world to play indoor rides and see e 4D video.. much later we went to genting casino .. it was much bigger den 1st world sia.. and stood there seeing ppl playing ... til ard 3plus am den went back room sleep.. haiz.. tml go back sg liao..is soo fast.. hw i wish longer break.. haha..

day3, woke up and check out.. den after tat went for lunch den went to 1st world to get e things i wan to buy.. manange to get my shoes and some things for my parents and frens.. den took afternoon coach back to sg... it was a long journey.. reach sg ard 9pm.. den took cab home.. i miss e holiday.. shall go again..

e.ting seems so dramatic.. i cant believe my own eyes... was @ spa wit joyce tdy... den went to cartel for dinner.. yest i left a note to jereko and say tat by tdy 12am if he can find mi.. i will give ant chance if nt e.ting come to an end... while i was having dinner, his frem sms mi & say he started searching for mi.. bt did he find mi????

i saw wen kai @ white sand.. and spoken to him for awhile den i decide to walk home and pass e fishing pond.. i sat @ there for a while and was tinking wat i shld i do??? i really confuse and lost.. one ting after other keep happening.. i really lost my mind...my brain cells.. n suddenly i felt so sick.. n was having fever.. when i started to walk back.. nev tht that i will see him.. i saw boy in front of mi... i u-turn and walk away.. dono wat to do.. bt in e end i appreare and he was soo happy. bt do i??? he tok to mi alot of thing bt as i was feeling very cold. he took mi home.. and fed mi wit med.. n pat mi to zzz. during tat period he was so sweet.. bt i dono wat i wan??

tdy, after work i went to his house.. fed his dogs and pack his room.. slept for awhile and wash his clothes.. den slack ard and tink wat i wan?? wrote some notes and left in his room.. wonder he take hw long to see?? and reply mi.. very tired.. wan to rest and get faster cure from my sick.. keke.. shall wats e conclusion..

after work went to meet up wit my two lovely gers.. went to hereen-village and had our dinner.. den went down to rage... den later shi bf came & fetch mi to dragonfly.. not too many ppl to my surprise... bt stil quite enjoy.. den in bet.. alot of thing happen.. don wish to say liao.. Anyway.. happy birthday to SHi.. my beloved fren.. see her having a proper bf liao.. happy for her.. hope she treasure.. :)

i dono wats going on recently.. jus don feel very gd and very confuse and dono wat to do???? ever since alot of ting have happen to us.. i trying to give in and put in effort.. i very envy most of frens.. as they are either marry already or have stable bf.. although there may be argument bt @ least is someone u like by ur side... as for us?? is like a love test tat we have to go thru so complicated r.s..

i learn to let go Gw for a period of time liao.. and put my heart to boy.. i dont deny tat he is a gd catch but dono jus certain things we cant slove & be honest. when things really happen den e truth will spilt out.. but i always let it be... i am nt angry bt disappointed... u always say tat i didnt do anything for u.. bt have u tht of e little thing i did.. which i nev did in my entire life wit my other ex.. i learn to control my temper and be nice.. tat too much to list wat i did?? bt tat doesnt count??? if u tink so den be it...

wat u did for mi?? is nt wat i wanted?? when u make mi sad or angry... u use $$ to pay back.. is tis wat i really wan??? have u ever asked??? do u understand mi?? hw much u noe abt mi??? i really dono whats going to happen?? u propose to mi.. n tis is e way u treat mi?? haiz...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Lost of words~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yESt weNt oUt wIt KoR aNd hIs FaMiLy.. wE went to LaO pA sA and have our dinner.. order alot of food sia.. den manage to see a bit of e fireworks.. nt bad... den after tat cont eating.. haha.. after e event @ marina bay.. alot of ppl came here and find food to eat.. tats tis pt of time.. when we are to finish our food.. we were ambush bt a gp of young punks..they keep looking @ us eating.. and i keep on laughing.. haha.. den after tat we walk ard.. bring e two kids to merlion.. fullerton hotel.. spore river.. and even play catching wit them.. was dame tired bt quite fun.. see them laughing and happy.. den after tat meet sally awhile to chat den went home...

yeSt after test went to meet my two buddies @ bugis saki sushi.. we went there for dinner.. den after tat took a bus down to rage.. keke.. went there to finish e btl and also sing songs... after tat left ard 12plus.. den went tamp find shi n her bf.. den chat awhile.. her bt send mi home.. hmmm nt bad looking and is 101% better than jimmy...

i learn alot abt lifestyle recently... and things tat i see n tht in my mind really show mi alot of things... well.. i will jia you to work harder and achieve my goals... as for dear.. i stil considering.. ever since alot of things have been happening to us.. mayb is a test bet us bah... i shall see hw strong is our r.s we can maintain.. keke...

i slightly happy abt my life... i gt my SIP liao... bt stil dono post to where... keke.. hmmm things have been picking up... i slightly more relax liao.. bt of cos stil have to work harder... i begin to let go gw... i noe i shld wake up fr my sleep.. tat he wont come back ever again.. i trying to treat ah boy gd.. so i can stay happy wit him... bt there are stil some things yet to be said.. one step @ a time bah...

recentyl, contact tiansong too.. it seems he is doing fine with his wife n life.. bt he always say: "as i say life can always be better".. haha.. i gt it... haha.. hmmm i also noe tat some of my pri sch fren and ite fren have been married.. haiz.. is like 2-3 yrs ago.. stil pak tok.. den suddenly all marry.. haha.. as long as u are happy wit wat u are doing.. go ahead.. once e chance slip.. no 2nd chance...

hmmm.. things stil seems to be not gd... haiz.. one after another... bt i stil struggling to move on.. i was sooo stress that i broke down again... gt back a bit of depression... in e day i am stil ok.. bt nite falls.. i start to hurt myself... i dono hw long more can i cope... i felt so bad sometimes when i ignore ah boy... he is always there to help mi n treat mi gd.. bt i keep avoiding him... i don wish to hurt anyone... bt life always have to go onz.. lately been meeting joyce and sally for drinks @ rage... haiz.. ppl also gt prob so do i.. bt i really cant take it liao.. keke

Tis month is my gd fren wedding.. although alot of things are beyond our control.. bt things stil go onz... happy for her tat she marry a gd guy.. bt @ e rite time??? haha... as long as she is happy can liao... went to marriott hotel for her wedding day.. i was e MC of e nite togather wit james... not bad.. 1st time being a MC stil perform okok.. haha.. was quite smooth for e whole event.. and we took some pics.. sisters... keke

Finally, i gt to noe some truth... chris have been lying to mi all tis while... he and hilary have been 2gather for sometime and i jus gt to noe.. y must he lie... cant he stop lying... he once hurt mi.. den elyn.. nw enjoy wit ant person.. bt i believe his gf will also be cheated later on.. i nev came across such person... nw i open my big eyes n noe tat he is such a jerk.. watever he say i wont believe anymore,.,., anyway we havnt been contacting.. n i tink we wont ever again... is e same period again tat we lost contact.. WTH... i cant really be bother liao... he is nt worth to be angry at all..

hmmm new updates.. recently been working wit eddie n e rest.. we also went K-box e other day.. & had a good session... bt den something happen bet sharon & thomas... haiz... later did sharon confess to mi lor.... well.. i have guess it correctly... haha.. bt hope e.ting can be slove..

well.. moshi moshi call mi n went down for interview.. although e pay wise not high bt i like e job scpoe... bt she havnt cfm mi yet.. next week den she will call mi.. den wing tai call mi for interview.. @ last after waiting for sooo long.. i really hope i can stay wit them... i like tis company as more offer n grat experience i can learn.. on top of tat i gt e job for june.. 2gather wit jj n angeleine... well.. since like things start to change a little better for mi.. i hope e.ting will pick up again n back to normal... Pls blessed us... hope to have more gd news coming up... tats all....

been a long time tat i update tis blog.. having mood swing lately n quite disappointed over certain things... watever current suitation is happening i still can accept n try ways to slove bt i don wish to have stupid things that doesnt concern abt mi to happen... e other time chris sae his gf fren mes mi those stupid & lame mes... i was nt happy abt it when i know is who.. bt i kept quiet.. lately gt tis no again mes mi e same thing.. n his gf ne gf fren view my frenster a few times.. wat does tat mean??? come on.. after tis incident i stop contacting chris.. does not wan to listen or reply his mes.. or even meet him @ all...

i dono wat i shld do??? if tis cont i tink i will give up our frenship.. anyway i tink after he move away, we don have any chance to meet @ all... so now end mayb is a good ting... since he can even go out wit hilary to pubs.. movies..shopping n JB... n not wit mi anymore den wats e pt... don wish to be his coffee khaki only... n telling mi wats happening e.day... i dono y i jus hated it lah... havnt decided wat to do... haiz..

Lately been quite busy wit work.. sooo didnt have e time to blog @ all.. welll have went to do my hair.. hmmm wasnnt really happy with it bt wat to do?? done liao... alot of ppl say nt nice... some sae ..... hmmm don care liao lah.. haha
hmmmm nth much thing happen... as usual gooo sch.. goo work... quite tiring bt den no choice... jinwei has been nice to me lately... thanks for ur care n corncern... i really touch.. bt den i still cant bring myself to be wit him... haiz.. we shall see bah.. haha

my new hair cut haha..

haiz.. school started a week... welll e timetable was ok ok only lah.. cos mostly in e afternoon... bt e subj boring n e lecturers also very de lame... nth interesting....although is e 1st week bt very slack lor... hmmm in bet have been working... so far stil can cope.. bt scare in e later part.. i will be slack n tired somehow...bt den things wont change.. stil have to work n cope wit sch... hopefully i am able to do it.. Rite juliet.. (u are a strong ger... )haha..e past week end met up wit joyce n chris.. n also wei lor.. well well.. he really melt my heart wit e things he did..

when i was sick.. he cook for me...
when i injure my leg... he took mi to doc..n apply med for mi..
lately he start singing bedtime song for mi...
n been waking mi up like crazy..(cos i refuse to wake up)
he is trying to spend his spare time wit mi.. haiz...
i dono wat to say bt felt touch lor..
is been a long time tat some did such thing for mi....
e other day when i met him.. i jus hug him n cry...
i also dono y... bt after crying i felt so relieve....
bt im sorry...i know u been reading my bog n left mess..
TO yOu: I'm really sorry... don wan to be a burden to u anymore.. i wan u to lead ur own life.. n carry on doing things.. u suppose to do... mayb my actions or words may mislead u & let u tink u have e chance.. bt as @ e moment.. i wan to settle my thngs n be free fr e..ting.. i don wan to waste ur time... is nt worth @ all.. bt i really appreaciate watever u done for mi... thanks i really touch... bt sometime.. somewhere.. if we have fate.. we be 2gather..lastly... i really touch n happy.. thanks alot... muacks.. haha.. take care n lead ur life.. kkk....

sian.. life havnt been too gd.. but den stil have to move onz... next week open sch liao... haiz... dono able to cont sch anot... waiting for reply to extend my payment for sch.... if they don approve den i have to quit bah... sian.... well well.. e.one has their own prob n ways to slove... bt it seems this time round i am lost.. complete lot..k lah.. gt to get some sleep..lately also stay up quite late...

been meetin joyce recently
she has married and tink she made e wrong choice
bt den she has no choice cos her hubby is gd
wat to do.. cos she accept his propose on impluse
haha... gt nth to say sia...
she has to chose bet freedom or wealth n status
nth is perfect... u cant have both...
so she lost her freedom... bt for wat i noe.. she is trying hard to be pleased
hope she can come up wit an ans.. or wat she really wan..
to divorce or cont tis road down..

as for mi... actually i didnt accept wei @ all.. bt den he has been nice to mi
he has been given mi moral support n by my side all tis while...
i dono wat to do... nw i am stil stuck in my prob....
thing don seems to work... wat have i done to deserve such treatment...
haiz.. tired of life...
tired of work bt stil have to hang on til i find a new one...
have been quite stress n stress in work... alot of things have change..
bt stil have to face it cos if i quit my job i wont have income...
no income means no sch. no home.. wat also don have...
have been praying soo hard.. asking how to slove e prob
y tis happen again n again... i really tired... really lost hope..
wat shld i do??????????????

yest have a good time after work... went dragonfly wit shi, ling, du jian &chris... wes dame f pack lah... bt slowly manage to find a spot @ e bar counter... haha.. as usual wit our drinks.. fun.. laughter... was quite happening... n we take turn to play 5-10.. haha.. @ 1st chris start to lose.. follow by me den du jian.. hmmm have all eentertainment.. left ard 5am.. share cab wit them.. den went to sleep.. as tml have to go church... really miss going club wit him.. haha.. haiz... tdy was too tired.. so slept nearly e whole day...

haiz.. tis few days hasnt been gd for mi lor... felt soo useless.. unable to find a job.. n have to worry soo many things... see my parents e.day fight over xxxxx and make himself soo stress... my savings also left nt much liao... mayb only able to cover til june..bt wt abt my expeness n sch... haiz... really felt very lost...n tis is e 1st time i felt so miserable... e other day i met up wit jin wei... actually we agree exchage something for something.. haha end up.. he sae i crazy n scolded mi like crazy.... n he transfer mi $$... he sae he is serious in looking after mi.. n wont leave mi alone.. haha... he wan to be my bf... siao... 1st he is 2 yrs younger den mi.. 2nd i nw have sooo much prob.. 3rd.. i feel like ending my life... 4th.. i dono how to carry onz.. or which way to move onz...

yest went to wing tai interview.. hopefully i get e job... bt til nw nobody call.. i jus need watever job to support tis family y cant i get it.... send sooom any emails none reply... interview soo many no repsond.. i even scarfise my sch time to go work.... y cant i jus get it..nev felt dame lost n ?????? .. tat day didnt went home so went to wei place... nearly kill myself bt stop by him... got scolded like hell lah... well well.. i really dono lah.. see wat GOD plan for mi... i jus hope my whole family will get thru tis time.... n i promise i will earn big $$ to let thme live comfortable.. as for now... see wat i can do...

anyway thanks jin wei... although i only noe u like 1 yrs plus.. bt u are there for mi when i really depress till no wher to go... all my frens dono gooo where...tat is y i believe... nev TRUST IN ANYONE ACCEPT URSELF... NO ONE WILL HELP U.... nt even UR FRENS... FRENS ARE ONLY FOR FUN & LAUGHTER.. when trouble comes.. ALL RUN AWAY.... hahahahahahahaha......................... crapps.

yEst had a great time with kor and his khakis... went to have our dinner @ cafe cartel.. they order those combo type.. n 3 diff type sia.. eat til e.one wan to vomit.. haha.. hmmm e food not bad.. have lots of jokes and dun during dinner...HAiz.. kOr paid For mI... aLtHOugH is bEen yeArs wE neV really contact bt is dao sao is de one who keep calling mi.. haha.. bt he treat mi not bad.. really look after mi... den after tat we planned to go drink de.. sO went to jimmy workplace @ clarke quay... but end up tooo pack for 10 of us... So end up went to MOS... was quite happening n pack like siao... den lao da open one btl... den i n christine quite enjoy de.. haiz den she suddenly mood swing n keep crying.. end up.. e.one have to leave cos of her.. hmmm a bit spoilt mood.. den end up went down to DRAGONFLY....

LefT> JiMmy & ChrIstinE

Right> mOi & ChrIstInE & dAo sAO

LeFT>QINg LoNg & mOi

RigHt> LaO dA & mOi

LefT> MoI & dAO sAO

RigHt> mOi & kOR kOR

yaP.. tOok cab down to Dragonfly... den meet up wit shi, ling and jie... den share table wit jie frens which is right in front of e stage... wooooo power sia... quite fun... actually i do enjoy bt is dame pack lah.. haha.. den play 5-10 den drink drink.. den noe tis "cute "guy.. haha took pic wit him.. ohh... den went home ard 5plus in e morn.. ohh.. was dame late lah.. went home.. dad awake liao.. haha... den faster bath n sleep.... Thanks t o my tis butch of frens... they help mi to release stress...

LefT> e CutE gUy & mOi... RigHt> mOi n GuItarEss Live bAnd


E fOuR oF uS aGaIn... Jie/LiNg/ShI & mOi

since i have not been working... i tink i have been going club.. last week.. almost e.day.. haha.. n i tink i fall sick fr there... n jus pass thur.. i again went wit my khaki... they are nw my latest club frens.. haha.. went down interview wit angeline den meet sharon @ orchard.. walk walk.. den went party world awhile with andy... haiz.. no voice stil wan to sing.. den break voice again lor.. haha... bt was quite fun lah... den meet up wit thomas.. wan n sharon frens... again to bb face... tis time round think drink e most sia.... we open 3btls.. cum e balance we have e other day... was quite happening... haha... n lots of craps.. joke.. fun & dance...

den i saw tis cute guy sitting beside our tbl... he gt style sia.. like tis type.. bt see only lah... den after time to go home... den saw him again. bt was dead drunk lah.. den his frens held up to the walk way... i dono wat i trying to do.. bt jus wan to help them make him awake... so i gave him a hot sweet.. n help him massage his neck so he sober a little.. den he keep saying pain pain.. ask mi to stop.. den i say... soon u be ok.. den he grab my hands.. n slowly his frens cant hold his weight.. so he lean on me.. haha.. ok lah.. nt trying to wat lah.. bt @ least i help someone to wake up... den his frens sae thanks to us.. den went home lor.. haha.. haiz.. den e next day super manage to wake up for church... dono y die die feel like going church esp is GOOD friday...

after which i went to work lor.. haiz. . jus noe e rest gt alot to tok... keep on asking how ta guy>?? haiz.. i jus ignore them.. haha.. den after work went to MR. Bean wit shi.. have some snacks n drinks.. den chat abt e past n present lor.. haha.. den went home Zzzzz. .. ok lah.. tink tis holiday i really do enjoy.... rather den work n work..haha... k lah.. going meet.. dao sao n e gang for dinner.. up date again..

well... lately mood nt really gd.... dono y... alot of things have happen.... jus cannot take it anymore...dono i can hold on how much longer... y y y y y things must always happen on mi... one after ant.... settle one thing come ant.. y cant i jus live a happy n simple life.. y must GOD take away e.thing from one jus over nite... wat have i done to deserve such treatment... anit im a gd person who risk my life.. my time.. my sleep.. my energy.. my love... my e.ting for ppl ard mi... (family... frens.. GOD...)den y do i deserve such treatment for nth... y must it be me??? i took alot of hardship... gone thru alot of stress... gone thru a painful life... gone thru e dark side of e world... for how long.. ever since i was young... over 20years.. isnt it enough for mi.... i work sooo hard.. all my effort.. doesnt pay off anythng good in return.... i don ans much.. to have watever i wan i will have bt jus a simple peaceful life..

and finally i get to noe a truth which i have wanted to noe for almost 2ys.. C current gf... is really e ger b4 mi... n i guess y we ended must be her... i don really feel sad bt super disppointed... y must he lie to mi... i used to like him soo much gave up soo many unhappy things n be gd to him n treat him soo gd... bt is tis e thing i gain in e end???? i long time doesnt have a gd r.s liao.... all come n go like freeflow.. haha... maybe tats really my life n fate bah... wat to do.... sometimes i even wish i am dead... bt y i cant??? my time is nt up??? i need to suffer how much longer???? am i born to have such life???? wat wrong have i done????

family.... frens.... love.... money.. sch.. job... life... haiz.............. gt nth much to say.... if tats my life to be.... i have to accept lor.... wat to do... tink i wish to have depression beta... so wat also no need to be trouble.. e.day being crazy is e best... hahahahahahaha......................................................... thanks really thanks.. i must apperciate e life i have...........

didnt really work much tis week.. was quite quiet... so keep going drink n meet up wit some old frens... haiz.. seeing one by one getting beta... well.. well... hmmm sat after work meet up with chew yan.. went MS shop shop & as usual went for drinks n chat abt e past.. haha.. it was sooo fun when we recall and after tat went shop shop alone b4 meeting up wit e rest for club...

spending tis time alone.. i see sooo many ppl walk up n down.. the things they did.. i felt like is really short... nw watever things u are doing u must enjoy.. time pass very fast... n theres no turing back.... so enjoy urself while you can... 9plus met up wit andy, thomas and sharon... den went down BB face.. level 3... starting was a bit boring.. bt later onz... was quite fun... took some pic... drink like siao.. haha.. really enjoy clubbing wit them.. as they are dame joker n funny.. haha... thanks guys.

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recenty e past weeks havnt been good for me.. actaully b4 CHinese New Year.. started all tis prob.... i dono where to move on... or wat i shld do... use to be a happy little ger bt nw become a useless n meaningless ger... i have lost control of a lot of things... y is my life getting worst... n y cant i live a noraml life.... jus a simple n lifestlye.. i don ask to be rich.. i don ask for a good living.. bt jus a simple n pain lifestlye.. y GOD hasnt show his way...i don mind to suffer for family n frens bt how long more do i need to do tis to lead back a normal life????

i have no one to run to ... accept myself... haiz... FRENS???? hahahhahahahahahahahhahaha... i really wake up my mind..... frens are only meant for FUN... when u are down in trouble.. DO U TINK THEY HELP??? NO!!! they pretend to listen bt cant do anything... or i shld sae run far far away..well... i been thru such thngs... n noe it... n i dono whether i stil have a family.. a shelter.. a sch... a job to move on.... e.thing may jus drop from 100 to 0.....

e past few days have been going drinking.... n nearly lost my voice.... dono y..got no job.. cant find one... nth to do.. scare of gettng depression again.. so went drinking wit frens....well.. i noe e prob wont slove.. bt @ least i wont stess every single sec... i have a free mind for few hours.. ..... gt nth nmuch to sae.... tired... really tired....

over e past 4 days(18/3-21/3/07) STAR VIRGO.. 1st time going there.. we going penang and puket... took many pics... really enjoy tis bd treat...

18/3> 1st day on board.. check in @ 2pm den went to leave out lauggage in e cabin... den have our cocktail drink... after tat went to eat @ e 13th level cafe... n watch some performance... den walk ard e ship..explore some outlelts.. den headed back to room to unpack all our things.. den headed for dinner and casino and drinks @ one of e bar,,, den back to cabin to zzzz...

19/3> wake up 11plus den have outr lunch... den proceed to peanag offshore.. went for a few hours tour den back to ship.. den went to have our dinner den went casino ... den again back to ur drinks.. n dance... den back to cabin..

20/3> woke up 6plus for breakfast... den proceed to puket... e place was dame nice... den few hours tour.. den back to ship for our gala-dinner... e food was dame great... den again to casino.. n went for shows... n back to our drinks... haha.. den back to cabin...

21/3> was e last day.. so sleep til quite late.. den went for lunch.. n walk round e ship... den went for dinner.. haiz.. soo fast back to sg... sian.. b4 departing we went for drinks again.... haha.. e trip was quite fun.. n wish to go again... really enjoy myself.... below are some pics.. i took.... fr e cruise inside.. to the offhshore trip i go... n also most of all.. e FOODS... yummy.... e food really BEST sia.. haha.. n also e drinks lah... for e 1st time i drank soo many macargita....

the pics which i took in e ship...

e penage trip i went...

e puket trip i went...

most impt... e FOOD i had during my 4 days trip.... nev had such nice meals.....